Category Archives: humor

I’m finding Derrida de-structured

wittgensteinMunch-studio-Getty95002154

I’m finding Derrida  de-structured

And Levinas‘ face makes me smile

Who would have conjectured

That one day I’d lecture

On  thoughfullness and all its trials?

I  prefer Kierkegaard to Sartre

Who sometimes makes me feel queer.

Who would have expected

That words would be texted

As men smoked cigarettes and drank beer?

Some people like reading Jane Austen

While others juggle with Wittgensein.

Who would have discarded

The notes in the margins?

How sweetly these words recombine

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November 22, 2013 · 11:50 am

Some bulls are only e-males

A plunesh bull in a kitch

A plush bull in a kitchen

 

Some bulls are only  e-males

The Pope has his own bull…..why can’t he have two so they can mate!

I  have seen cow pats but never bullshit..I never let a bull shit near me,oy vez

Some people enjoy bullfights.They like the inevitability of it.Like  death.

How about bullets… are they young bulls?

And bulletins are premature bullets,I think.

Cock and bull story,right here

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Sad news for literature and languages studies

 

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/10/31/education/as-interest-fades-in-the-humanities-colleges-worry.html?nl=todaysheadlines&emc=edit_th_20131031&_r=0

In the USA and in the UK  we find fewer people are studying the humanities.Here it is because of the economic climate.. people wish to study “useful” subjects.Literature won’t get you a job,perhaps.It only enables you to live better.Already in schools the study of Greek and Latin has almost gone.

Economics still gets students………. odd considering that economists did not forecast the recession but were up to their necks in mathematical models.Economicis not a science and cannot be.I believe it’s a branch of philosophy in a broad sense.

I admit I did not study what we called “The Arts” at University but most of my friends did.But I read poetry.I liked Auden greatly.I read all the great novels.I read Doris Lessing and Iris Murdoch.I read Evelyn Waugh/I even read Nabokov…. what a writer!And I read Shakespeare Plays.

But with the much higher fees,recession and other worries,fewer students will spend three years studying the humanities.Plumbing or Carpentry are better options

I am thinking of writing some new plays.

A  Fit Plumber’s Nightly Schemes

Witches astir.

Ham to let.

Sing Fear.

Make up for the Mind

A Midsummer Balls Up.

The Emptiest.

Please defreeze me,let me grow.

A man without limits

Much Ado about Hacking.

As you Recycle it.

Julius Seized the Emails.

Fool Us and Squeeze Us.

Twelfth Fright.

Hacked to Death.

The Blaming of the Guru,

Prospero Not.

http://www.debate.org/opinions/are-the-arts-too-elitist

http://theamericanscholar.org/the-decline-of-the-english-department/?key=55705194

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Don’t go to bed,whatever ,who says!

Don’t go to bed with an elephant

Don’t go to bed with a frog

Their skin is too cold

When they unfold

In need go to bed with a log.

 

 

Don’t go to bed with a cobra

Don’t go to bed with a worm

You will feel fear

When snakes come near.

You may go to bed but you’ll squirm.

 

 

Don’t go to bed with a tiger

Don’t go to bed with a lamb

You may feel warm

But not very calm

Lovers unite against spam.

 

 

Come to my bed in the morning

Come to my bed in the night.

I am very soft

When I am washed

Let’s snuggle up till we’re right

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I pun every night at Six and don’t get home till ate

Cat free

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chronology_of_Shakespeare%27s_plays

Above is a link to Shakespeare’s plays

11257109-old-mosaic

Wind in my pillows   [Life in a Cabin/Tent with no door.]

Save me,I’m a waspie…. [Confused person demands help from a Bee ]

As you swipe it..[Use your card please while I watch]

As you wipe it ………[What an ass….keep it covered till later.]

As you spike it……………….[How to drug people senseful  if they want you to do]

Did he take it………………[Bribes in modern life]

Did you bake it?………………… [ White lies in between the courses]
As You Fake It………………..[Is anyone honest in bed?No,thank God!So far,so bad.]
As you take it……………………[All about saving thieves from me]
As I frighten it…………………[Get rid of daddy long legs.]
As you strike it………………[ Do you think about the matches?]
Remedies for Terriers…………….. .[Dogs need psychotherapy too..]
Comedy of Worriers…………………….[Why, is  there no trust is left in Society?]
Love’s Labor Costs………………. [Even love needs money now]
Measure your Leisure………[Take away the last pleasures of free time with numbers.]
Merchant of Pennies………..[I prefer pounds, but each to their own]
Sorry Lives of the Censored……………[USA boobs again]
Midsummer Blights Schemes…………[Too many leaves fell off the trees for devilment]
Julius Breather……………… [A break from antiquity at last’
Much Ado about Washing………….[.Confessions of Dirty Married Men]
Taming of the Brew                          [ How to make tea in a pot and live to drink it]

The Tempest missed………………. [Lucky me]
Elves Night…………….. [No.not again.Elves are too small or I am a giant]
Too gentle women may moan for her          [].Oh,dear.Highly Sensitive Women
Hinters fail…………………… [Some folk like me just never get it.Tell us straight.]
I never knew you loved me till you were gone with the wind……[I sinned.]

Blind to men’s charms and hence not in their arms…………..[and other alarms]

Ring here…………………..[Helpline for numb actors.]

The Bride and Seven others……….{polygamy or bigamy.Is it polite?]

A Gossamer Flight of  Day Dreams…………..[Spiders for Britain]

Kings Sneer      [Always an error]

Richard Who Dared………..[Wars of the Poseurs]

MacDeath       [Stay off burgers]

MacClef      [Musical Version with real instruments]

Sing Dear  [Love for the well aged]

King Veered  [How Eddie lost the throne for lurv]

 

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October 29, 2013 · 7:51 pm

Wholly writ:The New Termagants

A friend  has written this  long thin list on another blog site and gave me permission to use it.

political-pictures-darth-vader-blasphemy-style

See this blog!       [ http://funnypicturesfreehd.blogspot.co.uk/2012/03/funny-%5Dreligious-pictures.html

List

Hospitals.
Love you
Have you?
In the park
Remark
Look
A book
A scone
Gone!
Tact
In fact
Rolling Thistles
Howls and whistles
Numinous
Humorous
Voluminous
Labyrinthian
My relations
Migrations
No pleasin’ ’em
Never again
When?
Oh,then!
Squeezing ’em
The Glossy Ones-
The Flossy Ones
Philharmonia
New harmonia
Pneumonia
Wrestle only with men
Angels exempt.
So he dreamt
Tremble only again
Amen
Arrythmia
Dysthmia
As dim as he.
Limbs run free
Pleats
Fill ’em in
Drill and bin
Non Brawling Thistles
He grows
Neighbours
The Remains
The Fast trains
Delete her
Pleat the heater
Neater
Done
Fun
A verb
Parse a sentence on him
Lewd when viewed
Very rude
Devaluation
No Fears while your relations are on.
Dissertations
Misinterpretations
Theses
In pieces
Martin Who There?

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October 25, 2013 · 6:10 pm

Books ….how not to act old

My books and home 029

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/06/books/review/InsideList-t.html?_r=1

Don’t wear a watch… unless it’s a diamond one and you are Queen Elizabeth

Do have your mobile on a contract not PAYG… you need it for the time

Don’t ever mention fountain pens

Don’t carry a straw shopper

Don’t do joined up handwriting

Don’t do any handwriting

Do hire a man

Do learn about sexually transmitted diseases

Don’t count on your fingers…

Don’t call your lover,my fiance

Don’t wear a “winter coat”

Do get anorexia

Do at least pretend to be manic depressive.

Do kiss everybody.

Do become bisexual

Don’t mention your cataract surgery.

Do die when alone.

Do have herpes but not IBS

Do learn the decimal system

Do learn what a kilogram weighs

Do have a pocket full of calculators

Do spend a fortune on your hair [I only have one]

Do cripple yourself with 6 foot heels.

Do wear a see through blouse and no camisole [  but a nude bra is ok]

Do ride a horse not a bicycle.

Do get a manicure even when you are dead

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Entertaining myself….. guilty as charged

I read very  hard books  mostly and then I  like to have fun.I  wanted to be or not to be a playwright.But I only wrote  the titles.I will sell them if you feel inspired

Borneo and the toilets   [A new rock band and their troubles]

A midsummer night’s scream.[How a queen loved an ass and what followed]

Julius seized me. [Possible erotic story]

Henry the Horse [A play for toddlers]

Richard the Blurred [How  the War of the Roses would have been better if they all wore glasses]

King Fear  [How even  the mighty can panic  better]

MacDuff,the pudding  [Scottish cookery book?]

Damnlet   [How swearing improves pain]

Hamerous [A kind of humorous version of Hamlet where he marries Ophelis or Mia Farrow

Hams of old England. {Bad acting in the past]

Nymphs and Leopards. [Love in the Jungle]

Lieberscreamzsche  [How Nietzsche ruined my life  ,the opera]

Nietzsche’s word was my father. [A literary autobiography]

Who won the Bore? [How being deaf can change history]

England’s screaming peasants blend [If only]

Death ,where is thy King?  [Plato up his own arse]

Foreigner’s  rile us. [Life in the UK now]

Boldlock the beloved  [ A Jewish love story with music]

Shyborg  [Shylock rewritten without anti-semitism…. and how cyborgs were living in that era…. you must write this]

Manbatting [ How cricket wrecked my marriage]

Sudden love [How I fell over a stile into a man’s arms]

Treasure Spyland     [USA today]

Who stole my male,my email and is beyond the pale?  [ Obviously it’s GCHQ]

Was that the fast God byte {Theology and  Information wreckednology]

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A little poem from another WP blog

I just read this on “How my heart speaks “by Katherine

http://wordscat.wordpress.com/

Just think it could be WormPress or WarmPress.Here are the books recommended by cool.wormpress.com .Meanwhile snails slowly rush in where slugs may  be filled with dread.

Some evenings,the sky turned pink
We were happy,lying in the grass
Watching the sun set.
Arms around each other.
Seemed like eternal life had come
Earlier than forecast.
Those weathermen are always wrong!
They need new training
In that timeless moment
In between two raindrops,
In between two tears.

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Filed under humor, love, poem

New Books for the duped

How to make love in a cardboard box by A.Homeless- Manne

Fucking  that Fiction by Jason Give-me -the Creeps-Again.

Loving your bites by M.Dogge

How to be more obscene than I by George Grammar

Men and other post modern Fictions  by Merlin Ponto.

Freud for the Fucked up by Plain Sigher

Satyrs and satire by Sasi Sartro

Beavers love  lives reexamined by A.French.

Hatred is bad for your Love Life by Good Wimmin

How to post Modern Poetry by No Moore-Truth N.A

Fat,Fed up and Fucked  by  the “Come Diet with me” group

Sort out your Crap by Jane Knowitall

Obscenity for Dummies by Big Bad Man

I like Bullshit the best by Whoreman Taylor

They saw him coming by Bad Girls

Find your H spot by Good Doctor

Dariel and the Head Muckers by M.Daemon

Poetry for Perverted Animals by A Vet [D.Sc.]

I wrote this crap myself by A N Dildoson

Grammar for Girls who  hate Shit by Minx Teacher

Commentaries are Crap by Cate Calmo

Crap your way to success by Freda Markup

Damned demons haunted  me hourly by Denis  Menacedt

New types of Shit  for Beginners by Terence Arse.

Say it with Word by A Processor

Swearing for Success by Potato Turnip

How Obscenity can Change Your ~Life/Wife/Strife.

Be even more Obscene with my Tips by Callia Girls

Write your own  bloody Prescriptions by Ima Dokter

X ratings for winners by B.A.Follywood

Who shat there  last? by T.H.E,.Prime Minstere

Blogging for Beggars by T.H.E Bumm

How buggers blocked my blog by A.Nite-Lite

Violent virgins by Eve Monster,B.A [Huns]

Where to go when utterly fucked by I.W.A.S.Clegg.Ph.D

Bloody Books by Boris Bum M.A

Mind your Ass by Mary Lambs.

Fools’ Folly by Fred Dread.

Folly me to Bed by Ally Cat.

Swearing is simpler by Short Tempered-Manne

Bums,butts and bottoms for the bewildered by Bary Mee.

Do it in the loo by W.C.Humor and sons

Lose your virginity tonite by A.M.A Groper.Ph.D

How to swear better by I.A.M.Insane-Now

Rude bits of the Bible collected   and  annotated by Ravia Gorilla [with photographs.]

Fuck my Fat by Frezzia Wimmin

Fucking for the Feckless by Fairy Jane.

From Fecklessness to Fucked  Up by F.Off [B.Sc.]

Baking with Shit all by Maria Belly-Button

How to starve by Benny Fit-Collector

How to bake dogs by Chinese Cooks

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