Sleep with Shakespeare

It seemed a good idea at the time.But the timing was wrong.Shakespeare was my boyfriend’s friend.To be honest he was a cat.So to preserve my modesty I slept with the cat and not the boyfriend.Just another natural disaster in every day life.

Still,a cat has eyes unlike a flea which is what I sleep with now;I know only because it bites me in the night!Possibly it was from the cat and became a multitude like my sins .which are mainly of omission.A  few are cultivated and the rest grew like weeds.I feel such shame when I think of my life,sleeping with everything but  a human being. Intimacy with moths does not contribute to literature or any other human undertaking and yet it saved a man from torment loving a woman with such a strange personality.So that is good.I also wrote a few plays

A midsummer night’s scream.

Julius seized me.

Richard the Blurred

King Fear

MacDuff,the pudding

Hamrent

Hamerous

Hams of old England.

Nymphs and Leopards.

Liebscreamsche

Nietzsche’s word was my father.

Who won the Bore?

England’s screaming peasants blend

Death ,where is thy King?

Foreigner’a rile us.

Boldlock the beloved

I  made a few dollars selling myself to  an owl.Beyond that my life is herstory.

Can I get bail?I hope the judge is  lenient

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What or whom to go to bed with after thinking?

What animal can comfort a human being standing at the edge of their world looking over a precipice? Just another warm human animal who does not speak but holds with strong arms without denying  what we have seen as we fall into the depths of our dreams

Could you love an insect?

We were told when Robert the Bruce was in prison he survived by studying a spider creating its webs,It consoled him.So the spider helped him but was hardly a pet.First it was totally independent and more important,insects don’t have faces.They have eyes but no expression.And they are too small.A cat may feel like a baby…but a fly will not

Which makes me think we love  animals and even birds because we can detect a personality or imagine we do…….we can ascribe feelings and love to them.Perhaps we make them into mini human beings?

As insects are so different and smaller generally,as they are cold blooded,they seem too different to become pets.I have been known to address a spider as I help it out of the bath but I can’t distinguish that one from another.With cats,even when they are the same color,we can recognise their eyes,And they are very aware of our feelings…and wish to comfort.

But with insects we can get benefit by see how different they are and studying their lives .Ants are very kind to each other and carry a damaged ant back to the nest,for examplle.So they can provide food for thought..

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Sheep as pets

Have you ever considered keeping a sheep as a pet? they don’t appear to bite or scratch,they would keep you warm ay night,they would not be in danger if you rolled onto them…I am unsure how much a sheep weighs….imagine wakening up and being between the woolly legs of a sheep ,held against its fleece.just what you need in a recession

As for grooming I am unsure what wild sheep do.They don’t have baths.Do they bathe in rivers?Do they  leave it to nature?

And if things got really bad……….I hate to say this,but you could eat it!It would last for ages.I  know it sounds cruel but it would have had a lovely life in your garden eating your lawn!

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Don’t sleep with a mouse

Much as we may love all creatures,.never go to bed with anything you may roll onto in the night……………Including very small men.

Have a sense of proportion.You will thank me one day.A man pancake is not a nice sight

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Criticising dogs

Dogs! Who wants them?They can’t talk,they can’t cook,they can’t wash up.They can’t wash themselves properly so have to be groomed by somebody else.Aw.dogs!Who wants a dog?They can’t even make the bed though happy to sleep on it.There’s saying.Let sleeping dogs lie .So they can’t even tell the truth. but why let them lie?Is the truth too disturbing?But at least they don’t smoke…. or do they?I have my suspicions but no proof as yet.Maybe they smoke in the bath?