Category Archives: confusion

Drowning in words

I have a theory,which I cannot test,that some of the symptoms of “mental illness” are a way a person who feels herself to be without power [in a family, a society] can say what is on her mind in a manner which is almost uninterpretable bythe people around but it has a meaning….that if ahe had more power she could say directly.

Someone tells his doctor his mother is trying to poison him.He is diagnosed with schizophrenia.

Yet in a metaphorical sense it may be quite true.She may dominate,oppress and refuse him freedom and for some reason he is not perhaps strong enough to walk out. Some of the cryptic sayings such  people make do convey in a scrambled way the truth as they see it.And it can apply to old people who are diagnosed with dementia…I have a good example friend’s husband had major heart surgery.She was warned that during recovery  his brain might be affected temporarily and sure enough he began to talk about Kruschev,Stalin,Moscow etc and seemed agitated..she told me about this.It passed.Later he told her that he was trying to tell her she was ordering him around too much and dominating him.he felt,whilst he was ill.No doubt she was anxious.He was trying to communicate to her he did not like her behaviour towards him.So his mind was not gone but he was too feeble to get across what he meant.And she was afraid already .. so became more bullying.Sometimes old people are said to be demented.One test is to ask them to count back in 7 from 100.So if I were you  i’d memorize that!Most people find it hard when younger.r

Imagine if someone told you they believed a piece  of bread has been turned  into Christ‘s body.You might think they are crazy but luckily it  is a common belief in the Western Christian mind…so it’s not a sign of madness and yet a man might say something similar and be called psychotic.

I went the hard way,you know,

on that road with no kerb

Picking up the demons you let out of that woman’s handbag

I feel so sick,you are a Jezebel.

Keep away from me,the voices warned me

That America would start a war against error

And that Jesus would help me to beat them

Let me go.Who stole my coat with the astrakhan collar

that showed I too was the son of God

Like you did before,you want to crucify me

and to eat cake and say,This is him you know…

Even the icing.So keep away.I’ll hit you.

rocks,cracked rocks and a finger

pointing to  the mistakes you missed

putting the blame onto me

and for that,I must die a thousand times

Will you call it my church or my tomb

My tomb of dough will rise and god will bake me

and eat me for his tea.

Thank you,nurse.I love Largactil

As it makes me ill

~and so I know i have to be locked up my

to protect the town from my germs,worms and viruses.

I go numb

Keep away from my arse.

Leave me alone with an old stone

From the grave of my youthful hopes.

You’re all crazy… but you outnumber me

So,I must be mad to fight.

Schizophrenia they think!

I know better.

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