Tag Archives: humor

Those words I’ve never yet understood


Synecdoche is a word I never knew.Metaphors and similes we were taught in school but metonym was not and synecdoche is related to that.An example is calling workmen on your farm “hired hands” and so would calling a woman a housewife,perhaps.I doubt if I shall use this word as I once tried to tell a joke at a dinner party involving the word,”solipsist” and it went down like a ton of bricks!

No,for social purposes I need to watch” low level” TV and get used to language which was never used in my youth; nowadays I could say,Oh fucking hell,I’ve lost my ear ring but not,I like a good metaphor that is not hackneyed,Or,what do you think of metonyms?

I also need to watch fat bald chefs cooking daft recipes full of limes,cream and spices before watching the News to find which celebrity is on trial for raping children.Then I have to watch soap operas and adverts for Swedish cars before microwaving a ready made meal I froze 3 months ago.Then I shall be fit to dine with the good and the great in their houses wth magnolia walls , chaise longues and oval beech dining tables.And eat those Nigella Lawson recipes without recalling her ex-husband art collector Charles Saatchi

On second thoughts I’ll stay at home with the dictionary and the cat


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Could Wittgenstein well?

Do you think philosophy’s monotonous?

Prefer  an elephant to a  hippopotamus?

Do not feel sad

When joy can be had

From seeing which writes are dichotomous.

A plunesh bull in a kitch

A plunesh bull in a kitch

Is your spelling far wurse than myne?

Are your thoughts far from sublyme?

Could Jacques Derrida spell?

Could Wittgenstein well?

Answering these questions will take up our tyme


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I’m finding Derrida de-structured


I’m finding Derrida  de-structured

And Levinas‘ face makes me smile

Who would have conjectured

That one day I’d lecture

On  thoughfullness and all its trials?

I  prefer Kierkegaard to Sartre

Who sometimes makes me feel queer.

Who would have expected

That words would be texted

As men smoked cigarettes and drank beer?

Some people like reading Jane Austen

While others juggle with Wittgensein.

Who would have discarded

The notes in the margins?

How sweetly these words recombine

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November 22, 2013 · 11:50 am

Too chaste?


Too chaste?

That’s a bit personal..I know

Is there an ideal level of chastity?

Can one be 40 per cent chaste?

Are there grades of chastity?

Is there a test for chastity?

If not,why is that?

If there is,hide it!

Is chastity a good idea?

Or just an idea…

Too chaste for whom?


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How to disobey everyone

How to be original by obeying one simple rule:never obey a rule.

How to be chaste by one simple method:Get a phobia about sex.Vomit when it comes into your mind.That will deter others but is it worth it?

How to be kind:Pretend all other people are you.

How to sleep well:Try to stay awake all night.

How to keep calm when drowning:Go with the flow.

How to be happy:Let yourself be sad.

How to get thin:Have a nasty lover.

How to get fat:Never move except on wheels

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Fantasise about chastity


Trapped behind bars?

Can’t stop thinking?Read this article.Can’t stop reading.

Think about :

Doris Lessing

Moving house

Extending your kitchen

Getting your hair cut off and buying a wig.

Streaking in church

Shrieking in church

Seeing visions

Having a siesta

Fantasise about sex

Fantasise about chastity

Take a quiz for Aspergers

Take a test for mensa.

Convert to a new religion

See a therapist.

Bake a cake.

Have a bath

Go to bed with the Vicar

Go to bed with the Rabbi

Buy a bike

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Intellectual perspective

What is humor except crossing a boundary?
I wish I were an ivy growing on your wall
I wish I were a berry
Just about to fall
I wish I were a hazelnut
And you would break a tooth
For my name is Sally
and not, and not,not Ruth

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